The visit-9

This is the last story of my series entitled- The visit-

May 2015 

Guilt and shame remained my constant companion, beseeching me to make one last effort to keep the family together. Chaotic thought patterns flooded my senses, condemning me for my actions, ridiculing efforts that had landed me where I felt I now belonged, hiding and afraid. A rush of trepidation took hold when I realized that my rebellion had gotten me nowhere and most likely had brought us to the point of no return.

My daughter lay motionless across the room, but her agitated breathing could be heard each time his bags rolled overhead. The familiar clatter of footsteps reverberated, pausing as if to warn and summon. With each sound came the reminder that he was leaving and my fate would be sealed. A loud and garish voice brought me back to the real world as he made his way downstairs, “Abdullah yela, let’s go.

Now the time had come to put my supposed selfish ways aside and end this stand-off. I would once again try to secure financial support for my children and safety for our household. It was 5 a.m., they would be leaving for the airport soon and this would be my last chance to make amends.

I placed one foot on the floor as if to signify my hesitation at the prospect of venturing back into the insidious world of abuse.

The front door shut, leaving anxiety behind.






82 thoughts on “The visit-9

  1. Over the years, I have performed” What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?” It has always filled me with emotion, because when I sang it for your wedding I had no idea you would have to face such adversity and isolation. We always wondered where you are, and the song would haunt me as I sang it, thinking of you. When you hit me up on Facebook years ago, I was soooo surprised and happy. You were at the crossroads of bringing your kids back and I was so excited, and afraid, for you. I hadn’t sung the song for so long, but I sang it maybe a year ago on a gig and I thought of you now, how you kicked ass and started over with your kids here and your awesome parents by your side. When I sang the song last year I had a different emotion…instead of sadness and wonder, I felt happy. At first I thought it was menopause that made me almost cry, but it was the fact that I have such emotion tied up in this song. So…what are you doing the rest of your life? Anything you want, sister!! Anything you want.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was powerful! It seems the choices you had were both painful. Not being with him was certainly the best choice… but the “anxiety left behind” barely even begins to describe your struggle! I get that Lyn! Lots of love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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