Summer love series-3

This series details the beginning and how I met him. The first two installments can be found here

Pullman 1982

I slid under his arm and rolled to the edge of the bed carefully placing my feet on the floor.  A headache wracked my brain and unsteady balance was evident as I struggled to stuff one leg into rumpled jeans that had been haphazardly discarded the night before.  I had been raised attending church every Sunday, bible camp in summer and youth group as a teen until pressure to” just be like everyone else” collided with alcohol and ended in confusion over self worth, desire and respect. I thought of mother and her disappointment while hopping towards the door. I pulled a shirt and jeans on until teetering finally gave way to collapse. A sigh made its way out of his mouth and then he rolled from side to side eventually settling back into sleep.

A small amount of interest had formed and overshadowed persistent concerns regarding his intentions and sincerity. But he seemed somehow different and had not pressured to be intimate but had pushed to develop a bond of mutual affection. My exit was quick and precise and the door shut quietly behind me.

Events from the previous semester seemed distant and for the first time in a month my mind was in the present not immersed in thoughts of Scott. I vowed that I would never open my heart to anyone again and instead would focus on goals of becoming a jazz vocalist. But there I stood in that tiny apartment next door to my sister’s place sneaking out in the early morning hours.

I knocked with a rap rap pattern, looking in between shabby half closed curtains. The door slowly opened and I crept in positioning myself on the couch in a slumping fashion. I had entered College apartments, number 3 just two doors down from this handsome man five years my senior. He was polite and clean cut, did not drink or smoke and studied engineering at a neighboring University. My sister had become an acquaintance during summer session and felt that he was just what I needed to lighten up and forget the past. Her eyes narrowed and she asked me why I was unwilling to give him a chance. Shoulders shrugged as I poured black coffee into a garage sale mug, placing my feet up on the plywood table. I lit another cigarette and reminded her of dreams and aspirations that needed my complete attention.


43 thoughts on “Summer love series-3

  1. Yes we can always say how different life could of been, and no disrespect to Bernadette, we all chose the path we chose. I agree with sw08 you would not of had your beautiful children, you may have had an even sadder life… Not that your life is sad Sis. We live with what we have the ifs and buts don’t count . 💜💜💜💜🌺

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You made choices that you thought were right at the time. You wouldn’t have your beautiful family and you wouldn’t be the incredible person you are today without your past!!! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I read these stories, Lynn I get chills. Your story could so easily have been my story. We grew up in the same town, had
    dads who were teachers, went to college in the same town, and dated the same “type” it sounds like. I am amazed at your courage. I’m not sure I would have been able to do what you did. Congratulations on being able to break free from such a terrible situation and bring yourself and your family to where you are now. Sounds like you are all flourishing now. 🌷🌻

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Lynn,
    First of all big hugs !
    Since I knew the ending of the story, I could not help wincing when I read about where and how it all began. I tremble thinking of how it was.
    As you say, the story is for your children and other people at the crossroads of life- after a sorrow, or disillusionment or loss of love or even a cultural shock from what was taught at home and what the outside world is. Forgive me for saying this but I wonder why our Christian churches do not have a more stronger pull or programs to pull our youngsters back to the church folds rather than pushing them away. It seems if the church had held on tighter by better examples or role models or more faith lessons or something else, how different things would have been. Of course, I too would not trade the children for any one else.
    I am so proud of you for how you put your stories into words and are trying to be a role model for countless others. We see how you are moving forward and we know even we, though we suffer now, can make a life for ourselves, with or without a partner.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Should’ve would’ve could’ve are all very well but in the end we do what we do and often we don’t really have a defined answer as to why. That the choice you made should have such dire consequences is beyond appalling. The only good that came out of it are 9 amazing children and a you who is working so hard to build herself back into the whole and truly wonderful woman that she actually is, not the victim of a brutish intruder into her life whose actions robbed her of her spirit. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Our lives would certainly look different if we could see the future. But alas, we learn by experience and its a rollercoaster. Your grace and strength won out, Lynn. And your beautiful family demonstrates every day the power of your love. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Memories are forever etched on our hearts; be it good or bad. I wish you immense joy and happiness for the days to come in your life.

    Ayya 🌺


  8. Interesting how some of the comments here indicated that you wouldn’t have had an equally good family if you married someone else. But that’s not even the point. The point is that what happened is done. This is a time of reflection and insight and a look back to see how it all came about.

    Liked by 1 person

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