Don’t miss Autumn

Please share Fall/Autumn; leave a link in the comments section for your photos, poetry or food that embraces the season!

Look everywhere and you will see both big and small changes


The tire swing just outside our window that hangs from a tree now laden with gold and brown leaves.

Fattima insisting to Ben and her brothers that she could easily clean the gutters in her boots with heels.

A walk through campus


Feel free share a link in the comments section for photos you have taken that highlight Autumn or anything that celebrates Fall!


Joy in morning

A wonderful blogger, Joy, came back from the beach and posted stunning photos. She asked if anyone wanted to write a poem after witnessing this beauty and inspiration. I certainly did feel inspired and decided to give it a try! Thank you Joy

Please do visit her over at: Nuggets of Gold   20181010_064937.jpg

Pictured above is a gorgeous photo from her recent post:The Splendorous Sky

Joy in morning

Sun does rise
Then lowers gaze
Colors stand
Inspiring praise
Meld and mingle
Soft yet bold
Coral gold

The poetry book


I have been working on my poetry book for the past couple of weeks. I had started it and then left it for a bit. I didn’t realize how much fun it would be to work on this project and have spent hours placing pictures and figuring out where to put everything. I am not sure on many things about the details of publishing, but for now just focusing on finishing the book. I ordered a proof which should come today! It is hard to imagine that I might actually get this published.

Thanks for your support everyone!

Love Lynn

Grateful for the little things

Here in Idaho we have snow and ice, cold temperatures and blue skies! I love this kind of weather it reminds me of the house on the hill waking up to glistening snow on the trees and icicles that hung from the top deck. Childhood memories flood back and a warm sensation keeps me feeling safe and happy!



I am ready to make another list of the things that I am grateful for. These are more specific to my progress with anxiety and daily functioning. Of course I am grateful for my parents, children, grandchildren and friends.  Some changes are small and others are huge, or at least they are for me. I hope that this inspires at least one person, makes them feel they are not alone and life does move forward!

  1. I am grateful that I can take still continue to take a full walk outside and enjoy it without anxiety!
  2. I am grateful that I can still cook a meal and have renewed my love for cooking.
  3. I am grateful that I can still clean the house without panicking.
  4. I am grateful for and to my blogging friends. The shame and guilt that I have carried is now in the light and thanks to each person who comments, likes and supports me in this journey I am able to feel more open and able to share! This is truly my special safe place! I am able to reveal more things that happened without fear.
  5. I am still not able to drive unless it is totally necessary but I feel I have made progress.
  6. I am grateful that I have continued blogging three times a week. Some days it is difficult to interact and while I miss my good friends sometimes I just want to stay isolated, but my goal of blogging three times a week has helped me to keep a normal schedule and routine in my daily life.
  7. I am grateful that I am back to eating more fruits and vegetables. Before he came I had lowered my cholesterol, lost weight and was lifting weights. After he left everything fell apart. We spent those three weeks staying out of the house,driving around town, eating fast food and not being mindful of health. It has taken me almost three years to get back on track!!!
  8. I am grateful for the forgiveness that I have given to myself. I forgave him, his wife, but never truly forgave me!!
  9. I am grateful that I can now see how I want to put my book together. I am working on it when I feel up to it.
  10. I am grateful that my mind is now clearing and I can process everyday life.
  11. I am grateful that I can feel joy even if it is fleeting.
  12. I am grateful that I am starting to care about me!IMG_20180307_081221


Clementine meets Choppy!

I recently purchased a good friend’s book and gifted it to Clementine. Both Mom and Dad read it and laughed heartily!

Clementine was unsure about breaking the rules and jumping up on my couch! After the initial invitation she took her chance!

She has been a bit under the weather but seems to be feeling better each day.

Thanks for making me smile Sarah!

How this blog saved my life

The last communication I had with him was a week or so after he left and returned to Saudi. Since that conversation there have been no emails, texts or phone calls. This lack of communication has helped me slowly look at what happened and to start  piecing things together but has also meant no financial support. I want to thank each and every one of you who have emailed, called and commented on my blog. You have made a huge difference and your love and encouragement have changed my life.


June 2015

Days had passed since his departure from our home and an eerie calm pervaded. No one spoke of the previous three weeks but the tension that had permeated every part of our life fell away leaving the usual fear and anxiety.  I spoke when inquiries were made about food and transportation but sat silently most days, a confused and lethargic form. It seemed as if I had come so far, walked the road of desperation and betrayal and yet a part of me was still intact until this last event. A new feeling of numb and vacant went unnoticed until it could no longer be denied and I was unable to put thoughts into words and actions.

The last communication had been brief but the usual words were spoken and I played the customary roll reminiscent of years in Saudi, agreeing to any conditions that he listed. He would not allow my parents entrance into his home, nor would my sister and her husband be authorized to enter the premises. He did not want those that were against him eating food that he provided, nor did he agree with anyone spending time with his children. These outside influences were not acceptable and if I agreed to his terms he would consider resuming financial support. I stood in the laundry room, door shut, muffling cries that were undoubtedly still audible. A new hysteria took hold and even with the undeniable reality that he had in fact attacked me, I once again complied. “Yes whatever you want, you are in charge, please send money for the kids” shame and humiliation flooded my system and the cycle had been restored.

A sick feeling overtook me as I grappled with the idea that my refusals and standing tall had brought us to this point. It was the thing I had feared most, a lack of financial support and the idea that I had brought it on in one swift moment of stubborn indignation. I had never been allowed to work and in recent years when I showed interest the innuendo of cutting support always worked its way into our conversations. He reminded me of my honorable place as wife and mother and that scurrying around, acting as a maid was not becoming to my position in this life.

I frantically checked our joint account several times a day looking for that transfer of funds that were to provide food, clothing and medical care for the children. I soothed my injured brain and soul with the words he repeated when monthly money came late. “I will always provide for you no matter what” and so I sat waiting, on high alert, praying that he would make good on his word but acknowledging that the time had come for resumes and applications.

Each day crept past as I vacillated from fear and anxiety to stillness and inactivity. One month after he returned to Al-Khobar, an idea that had been tossed around for years was now put into motion. Saleeha set up a blog, insisting I pick a title. I reluctantly issued the letters that formed a name and remained unmoved by her excitement at the endless possibilities she saw in the future.

A vibrant yellow curry simmered on the stove, potatoes and chicken gently bubbled. A splash of color was needed for the square plate; a thin gold rim etched its way around the dish, adding flare to meringue shells. The sous chefs were summoned to roll pie crust, sauté onions and mix the filling for a broccoli carrot quiche. I fussed over the toppings for peanut butter pie as a decadent chocolate glace was poured over, cascading down the sides and into a glossy pool.  Ideas were tossed around regarding the finishing touches, peanut butter cups or tiny bits of cookies and finally whipped cream was piped along the sides. The kitchen clanked and buzzed and had come alive once again with the sounds of family cooking. Preparations for a blog post were underway and this meant that everyone would help, from the youngest to the oldest. Suggestions from the kids who no longer lived at home were received and discussed until a conclusion was made and the final product was presented. A non-stop wave had taken me from my bewildered and dormant position on the recliner to a whirl wind case of cooking and writing.  Little thought was given to the events that led up to this point and anything that remained was drowned out by the clinking of pans and the sweet smell of family cooking.


Weekly review

This was my week in case you missed anything!



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Skin check

The little road trip we took yesterday was to my hometown. We went so that I could have a skin check. A few weeks back my nose became red on one side and a bit swollen, it was painful. It finally subsided but a little blemish remained. My family dr. felt it was nothing but since I was due for a skin check I decided to go a little early. 


As many of you know last year I was diagnosed with basal cell skin cancer. I was so anxious dealing with PTSD that I could not share with my friends here on the blog. I also had several very good blog friends going through serious cancer struggles and I felt ridiculous to speak of this minor issue. But, when I got home from surgery that day I decided it would be a good thing to let everyone know what was going on.  People were so supportive and reached out helping to calm my fears. The picture below is of me in the car on the 90 minute trip home after surgery last November.


My sweet son Abdullah took me to Spokane for surgery and for the initial appointment before that.  The surgery was a little more involved than I expected but I was very lucky and so happy that it was confined to a fairly small area. It was in between my nose and lip. The were stitches going from the side of my nose near my cheek, down through my lip. I felt very fortunate to have something simple and easy to remove. On the way home things started to thaw out and the pain started.

At home the kids all helped me out while I settled in on the couch.


I was amazed at the precision of the stitches, the pain lasted through the night but was much better the next day.


Over time the bandage got smaller and smaller. My lips were swollen and the scar looked pretty bad, but to be honest I didn’t care, just wanted to make sure they got all of the cancer cells. Again, grateful for the ability to have this excellent medical care and my family to help me get to and from Spokane.

This was the result after stitches were almost gone. Things looked pretty good but OCD and PTSD took over and I was very anxious. After a sescond skin check and a look at the site of the basal, I felt a little better.


I bought a hat, it flew off on my walk. Sumaya bought me a stylish blue hat with a tie and then I bought a second one for myself. I always wear sunblock, keep my hat on, wear appropriate clothing when outside and try not to be out laying around in the sun during the worst hours for sun exposure.


The skin check went well and I was told that the spot most likely is related to the surgery and the stitches that take time to dissolve. After going to the clinic we visited with our little family! The boys are as sweet as ever.


Thanks for the support that each of you give me. It means so very much to me! I have found so many lovely friends through blogging and this has given me the ability to just be me!


Love Lynn



Weekly review

This was my week in case you missed anything! Have a great Sunday.





homemade loaf bread


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Weekly review

In case you missed anything, this was my week.

Have a great Sunday!





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